I've found a friend who died for me

Ephesians 2:8 - "For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God."

Everybody lives an exciting life after salvation. That excitement of being cleansed of all our sins and all our iniquity. It becomes an exhilarating journey!

By and by, the euphoria fades. What happens? A believer is then challenged with 3 choices.

1) Quit
2) Repent
3) Pretend

We all know how to quit. Denounce all you have ever learned. Christianity is too difficult for me. Time to go... Where to? A "better" place that after some time, makes you regret cause the best place is to be with God the almighty! Besides, imagine getting a gift from a divine being, God. Then throwing it away as rubbish just because you have started to depend on yourself instead of on God.

Now, repent. Repentance isn't some dramatic, sincere, remorseful action/gesture of kneeling down and crying. Not that you won't do that when u repent. You WILL feel all of that. However, repentance = a change of mindset. Romans 12:2 states not to "..do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.." You will know the perfect, pleasing will of God when you repent which means to "change your mindset".

Lastly, pretending. I'm the best at this. And admit it. You might just be one who's comfortable with this. I can't cope with the change of mindset. It's too humbling. Too much. Too difficult! However, i don't wanna quit too for i know that this is right or at least the friend whom i'm really close to or like is believing in it. Let me pretend that i'm okay. I'm alright. I can do it. This, in James 1:26 is reproved. James reads, "If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man's religion is worthless."

WORTHLESS Religion! That's like ordering a sports equipment off the "Pasar Malam" that's 50% the price that of its original in TV Media. A rip-off imitation that looks like it but gives you a back problem while you use it. What is that equipment? It's worthless. It gives you no benefit but a back full of pain!

If you continue pretending that you're spiritual while you're not! If you boast of the religion you believe in but have no true experience of it, it's fake! It's destructive and it kills the people around you. A gift from God that's distorted and warped by you and now becomes a destructive bomb! It's time to repent!

Now, how would anyone know what is an imitation? James 1:27 - "This is pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father, to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world."

True religion is based on compassion, love for others and a focus on God and God alone and to not allow the corruption of the world's values to creep into our lives.

Have you really focused on God or have u been introspective? Introspection kills oneself over time cause you focus so much on yourself and what you lack, what you need and what you have failed that you lose focus on the fact that God's precious promises are all you need!

If you are "seated in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus" (Eph 2:6). Then you are indeed, "This is my beloved son(/daughter), in whom I'm well pleased!" If He is well-pleased in you regardless of what you've done, then this promise indeed, if stood upon, will get you out of any emotional lack or depth you have fallen at the lies of the devil. Rise up you brethren. Come along with me and be meek! For the Lord is calling all of us to rise up now!

It's a given. It's declared in Facebook. It's declared to everyone i possibly know. It's a craving. No, it's not a sin but it's a temptation. A GUITAR! I saw this epiphone guitar in yamaha @ PS and i totally fell in love with it! It's sold @ SGD$980. Steady! It's my next budgetted item! WahHAhah!

Well, a blog post just for a guitar is not very Glenn. I believe in a God who's mighty. A God who delivers. A God who's great. A God who's loving. A God who knows exactly how you are and who you are and does the best for the very well-being of you.

I was just reading 1 Sam, 2 Sam, 1 Thessalonians, 1 Tim, 1 Kings and there's just too much to be said in just these few pages/chapters. Throughout the bible, there's no trace of a God who's not in control. God IS there and will always BE there. Regardless of all you're going through and you think you are going through and all your perceptions.

How i wish i could translate or impart this in a way that no one needs to go through what i did to understand. However, that would be how i do it. Not God. God, work in all who are around me and more so in those who are not around me. Pour forth Your blessings and let the victorious people know that victorious living isn't that difficult!

-Glenn

I must say that at this point of time, it's difficult to go back to my people and declare who God is but i know God has that in mind for me. I must get back up. Not for my pride or reputation's sake. But, rather, because God wants me to. I wanted to place this in the previous post but i think it will be too long...

I took a break yesterday. I claimed my off for this week and took a breather. I reflected and these were what came out of it in retrospect.

1) I never called people up when i was wasted. Never. Unless i needed transport back. I didn't know who i called, but, the people i called were the ones who brought me back to safety in God's arms. God's divine care for me was not restrained. "An apple of God's eye" as someone said to me.

2) I was attacked. Not giving credit to the devil nor giving excuses for myself but i realized that my dad was struck and angry, my mum was handling many family matters atop of these concerns, my sister was dealt a bad hand in her office due to partiality, my aunty got affected by some matters of the heart and many more. All those closest to me got hit and i was naive enough to believe that i was the only one. Ephesians 6 - How lightly i took those words regarding the armour of God.

3) TNG is growing. The devil is not very happy about this. No weapon formed against us shall prosper and i shall wallow no more because i may have fallen twice but i will not fall again easily. Come what may. My God is greater.

4) I have a great pastor and director. Without which, i wouldn't even be here. Thanks to you both (If you're still reading this blog..^^)

5) I asked for a comforter from God and He gave. Jessie Foo went backstage to look for me because she heard from God to go and look for me. I took that too flippantly as well.

6) I claimed that no one ever loved me except for what i could do for them. There came 5 champions who knocked at my door at 5 am. What love and sincerity! Thanks~

7) Must i learn "how to rest" this way?

8) I have requested from many to be open to me. I have yet to be open to anybody. Pray for me. That MUST change.

9) Every book i picked up said something to me. I ignored them and refused to take notes nor heed them. What a prideful guy! Well, when God humbles, He knows best what to do. Amos & Aaron bought a book for me. It's titled, "Strengthening yourself in the Lord". I picked up the bible and 1 Samuel 30 came to me. I read the bible again(this time nkjv, previously nasb.. Wahah..) and it was Genesis.. Noah's ark and God's covenant.

10) My roles are not equivalent to my identity. who i am and what i do cannot be the same. What i do is based on who i am and who i am is based on God. Everything - God = nothing.

- Glenn

Do i really mean what i sing? I do. I seriously do. I do try to live them out too. However, it's back to the basics now.. I am ultimately a child of God and i'm not living out what is sung and written for the sake of Glenn but for the sake of God who has Glenn in mind.

I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.
The cross before me, the world behind me, no turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, i still will follow, no turning back, no turning back.

I have totally disregarded all the words in this song just days before this. I have decided to follow myself, the world was before me and the cross abandoned and forgotten, when none went with me, i whined!

When will i change Lord? Of course anyone would wish to be zapped and all imperfections be removed from him/her at that very moment. How wonderful!

I'm writing this not to undo what was written before this post. I'm here to put down my testimony of a man who chose to travail and not run away. A life broken yet chosen. A child of God who got his identity back and returned to his Father a prodigal son, forgiven, embraced and re-instated.

Have you ever wondered how the prodigal son felt after he was accepted by the father? The immense guilt of squandering half of the father's inheritance, abandoning the family for the pursuit of folly and the fact that he wasn't stripped of anything he had once been. He was still given the ring of authority on his thumb! It must have felt terrible.

I wish i could be punished to "atone" for whatever's done. However, in God's kingdom, it's never that way. I shall NOT despise grace ever again. Help me to be meek in You, Lord. Knowing full well that meekness doesn't make me a cry-baby or a whining wreck but a firm yet gentle servant whose authority is that of Your child. A milestone and season You have redeemed me into that will mould me into who you want me to be. A breakthrough that will be tough but once again, nothing + God = everything. Let me start afresh once again... Though never perfect but always striving towards perfection; one that Your Son, Jesus Christ has demonstrated.