How do i travail?
I must say that at this point of time, it's difficult to go back to my people and declare who God is but i know God has that in mind for me. I must get back up. Not for my pride or reputation's sake. But, rather, because God wants me to. I wanted to place this in the previous post but i think it will be too long...
I took a break yesterday. I claimed my off for this week and took a breather. I reflected and these were what came out of it in retrospect.
1) I never called people up when i was wasted. Never. Unless i needed transport back. I didn't know who i called, but, the people i called were the ones who brought me back to safety in God's arms. God's divine care for me was not restrained. "An apple of God's eye" as someone said to me.
2) I was attacked. Not giving credit to the devil nor giving excuses for myself but i realized that my dad was struck and angry, my mum was handling many family matters atop of these concerns, my sister was dealt a bad hand in her office due to partiality, my aunty got affected by some matters of the heart and many more. All those closest to me got hit and i was naive enough to believe that i was the only one. Ephesians 6 - How lightly i took those words regarding the armour of God.
3) TNG is growing. The devil is not very happy about this. No weapon formed against us shall prosper and i shall wallow no more because i may have fallen twice but i will not fall again easily. Come what may. My God is greater.
4) I have a great pastor and director. Without which, i wouldn't even be here. Thanks to you both (If you're still reading this blog..^^)
5) I asked for a comforter from God and He gave. Jessie Foo went backstage to look for me because she heard from God to go and look for me. I took that too flippantly as well.
6) I claimed that no one ever loved me except for what i could do for them. There came 5 champions who knocked at my door at 5 am. What love and sincerity! Thanks~
7) Must i learn "how to rest" this way?
8) I have requested from many to be open to me. I have yet to be open to anybody. Pray for me. That MUST change.
9) Every book i picked up said something to me. I ignored them and refused to take notes nor heed them. What a prideful guy! Well, when God humbles, He knows best what to do. Amos & Aaron bought a book for me. It's titled, "Strengthening yourself in the Lord". I picked up the bible and 1 Samuel 30 came to me. I read the bible again(this time nkjv, previously nasb.. Wahah..) and it was Genesis.. Noah's ark and God's covenant.
10) My roles are not equivalent to my identity. who i am and what i do cannot be the same. What i do is based on who i am and who i am is based on God. Everything - God = nothing.
- Glenn