Things that matter..
There are always the truthful things and the wonderful things to share. Sometimes, they coincide to generate real wonderful stories. Sometimes, they stack up to an in-tray of hurt or past.
I truly love the brothers and sisters i have. However, as much as i have discovered for myself and of course, much less for others; I am truly edified/uplifted and brought down/discouraged by words. (this is why i post here for all who are close to see.)
I have discovered a few things. They are not new. Just more obvious. This year was a year of growth. There are new loopholes here and there but they are good problems waiting to be resolved to result in greater growth. I'm excited! The bad thing is, the loopholes are my leaders themselves. Those whom i've just simply entrusted matters to. I truly believe that i have to skew myself more towards meeting up with people next year. My loophole is that i've allowed the past to hinder me from moving on and meeting people up for contact time. I have fulfilled my role as a ministry leader to make sure things happen but i've not fulfilled my role as a shepherd to care for its people and myself. Well, if i am well with God, and i find favour in Him, He too will help and guide me to find favour in men. Pointing them to God would be something that flows all so naturally.
There are some personal ones as well. Not to the extent of wrath of anger but to the fact that they are sometimes reflected as absolutes when they are truly negotiables.
Let me give some examples.
I spoke to a few about Hillsongs. That there seems to be a strong feeling that i might not be going for Hillsongs' conference. There was almost an immediate rebuttal along the lines of "if you want to go to the conference and it's beneficial, why would you want to miss it?" And well, to answer that, i gave a few scenarios of how i might miss it. Truly, i would appreciate more if those people just listened to the sharing and not question it.
Not that i wanna have my way and refuse to be questioned but, that it doesn't make sense cause, anyway, if all are listening to God in the first place, would there be a contradiction? Will God not tell me if i'm truly to receive something from the conference? If it's fellowship time that is so hard to find here in Singapore, is it also because of a personal thrust towards the perspective of missing the conference that has led you to think that logically, fellowship is a good thing and therefore, missing the conference is a bad thing? God works in fellowship during a conference and doesn't work during a short coffee break at a kopitiam? Or, can't God be calling your friend to something more important than the conference? Trusting God in everything that you believe in but not in telling your friend something he's going to miss out on? Unless God has made you the messenger, i think, it's truly not a help to impose a stand but rather, to discuss the stand. It is not an absolute and no one's wrong/right here.
Of course i will have a choice to make and really, after paying for the conference, i really wouldn't want to miss it. Especially, after i've agreed to go in faith months before now. How God spoke to Moses through the burning bush will not be how God speaks to us. The "strong feeling" may not be right. But is it then wrong?
We can use my deferment to talk about something i want and i got. However, did i not also share that i had a strong vibe that i would be deferred way before i even processed my first application for deferment? It is faith to put substance into things hoped for and evidence for things unseen but it's personal fancy to abuse that to seemingly "claim" things/events we want without any affirmation on it yea? Whatever it is, God has not spoken on this matter and we will just have to wait on Him as the date nears as all things are yet appointed for a time and it will not fail. It hastens toward its goal and it will not delay.
Well, the exasperating one is the issue of a soulmate. I truly believe in a God-ordained wife to begin with. However, i don't quite agree with a lady who's not suitable for you based on issues she has right now. I must state that i haven't heard from God about a lady i'm contemplating about. (With this, i'm open to discussions about this matter.)
This is purely on the assumption that you have eyes on a christian lady not a non-believer. I believe the thin line between converting a non-believer as a journey towards grooming her as a wife-to-be is a little too idealistic.
Imagine this with me. You attend a conference. You meet a cell leader from another church. She's really gorgeous.(Which may be why you noticed her in the first place) Both of you click~ And somehow, there's a correspondence of sorts thereafter. However, you soon realize that she has issues with identity and self-esteem. Where is her place now? Do we not explore that together during the "dating" stage?(Where you are just exploring possible chances of further romantic advancement without any commitments, physical nor emotional but seeking God as the final decision maker) With a set of nicely planned girdles in place to prevent the stumbling of either side? Where both parties are seeking God?
Does it mean that you cannot be the one to resolve those issues? Wait for someone to resolve the issues within her first? Or are you fearing that she will in turn make you her god instead? Will you not point that out too if you are hearing from God?
Of course, there's a twist to it. Did you like her for the right reasons in the first place? Well, isn't the "dating stage" also the try-out? The try-out that's not just meant for her but also for you. Liking her for the wrong reasons (if you do) doesn't mean that you will never like her for the right reasons. A journey isn't it?
Then, if we are all centered on a journey, would "grooming" your potential wife-to-be be considered a journey that's not just romantic, but Godly and wholesome?
The process of the try-out prevents a pre-mature relationship. It also prevents an immature relationship which doesn't have God as its center.
Pushing off a lady in mind just because she has issues. Isn't it likened to sacking a musician immediately upon realizing he's smoking when we're building lives and not building a music band with laws? I don't know if i'm harping on it too much. But, here's my stand and i'm open to phone calls ^_^
I know that after going through relationships doesn't warrant me to place a stand and expect people to follow after my experience. However, the reason why i'm writing this post is because people are indeed using their experiences to place a stand as to what i should or shouldn't do. Let's put it this way. Wherever God leads you, that's the right way. Unless you do not trust that your brother/sister is disciplined enough.
I do not mean to diss people or put them down here. All i want is to share and be authentic with what i feel inside without having to ruin the whole atmosphere they were in with me, that most of the time, has other less close friends around.